How I miss having someone at my back, always, protecting me, loving me and giving his best to me.
Whatever stuffs I didn't cherish in the past, I really want it back now. Not because I feel lonely, but I really learnt my lesson, really know my mistakes, and really regretted.
You know that feeling, when you want to cry but you have to keep it inside.
Whenever I receive his texts, I feel this way. It just doesn't feel the same anymore and I don't know how to be just friends. I don't even know how to smile now, I don't even know how happy feels like anymore.
I know he needs time, I know if I'm him I wouldn't forgive myself too, so why am I taking this so hard?
Hate crying myself to sleep every night, hate crying alone in the bathroom, hate being alone because my mind will go haywire.
Hate holding on to the phone for 24/7, waiting for his text to come and replying it immediately. Hate crying in front of him and pressurizing him. Hate being such a weakling that can't survive alone. Hate myself for adding dramas into my own life. Hate myself for crying while typing this out.
This feels so hard. I need to get you out of my mind, I want to make you happy.
I know you are happy without me and maybe I should just leave you alone.
It just hurts to see me hurting you once again, so suck to see you tearing for me.
I can't control my tears, I can't control myself anymore.
