Like what my title says, guess I'm a little bit too independent. I'm not like this last time. I loved having friends, I hated being alone, I can't stand being an outcast, I can't live being lonely.
But now, everything just flipped. It's some sort of karma I guess, for outcasting people, for making rude remarks to lonely people. I never really knew how they felt. I'm always good at making friends, but why not now?
I'm starting to hate hanging around a group of people, I'm starting to build up more and more walls around me. I told myself I got to be strong cause no one will hold me up when I'm at my weakest. I refrain doing things that needed people's help. I don't want to have lunch with anyone except for my laptop. I don't mind walking home late at night alone. I'm scared of the dark, seriously scared. But I got to overcome. Who's gonna help me when they are all in their lalaland? Sad to say, but the answer is no one.
I'm just ranting, if you don't like it, you can stop reading. I don't mind, I won't mind too.
Some said that boyf do sacrifice friends, but for me, it's me who is stopping them from getting nearer. They are nice people, but I just can't be really happy with them. I always feel like an outcast. Outcast in society, outcast in school, outcast in class and now, I'm feeling like a loner at home. No one is home when I'm home. When I reach home, everyone's asleep. How great.
I got to be strong because everyone leaves eventually. I got to be strong because I can't afford to fall so hard again. I got to be independent because that was what my mum taught me since young. I got to be independent because everyone got their own problem, no one is going to give a shit about mine. I can blame the society, I can blame the people but afterall, its just me. My fault. I can't open up to people, I pushed them out. I'm just living in my small world alone.
And somehow, I got to thanks some people for making me what I am now. Making me fall so hard, from heaven to hell within a second, making me believed in every thing you told me, giving me empty promises, leaving without any reason and making me realize that humans can just change overnight. Thankyou so much, you got me falling hard. Those are things that I can't fucking forget no matter how hard i tried, I'm selfish, but I can't delete it. Blame it on me then.
You make me into this selfish and friendless bitch.
